Advice

Because Mir and I have a new baby, people everywhere feel the need to give us advice on raising him. Normally I don’t mind at all, in fact, I welcome the advice. I know I have a lot to learn about being a father and I don’t want my pride to get in the way of caring for my boy.
But it’s is a little more complicated when the advice comes from Lao people. Now, I am not saying that Lao people don’t know how to raise children, obviously thousands of children are born here every year and they go on to become happy, successful adults. But our methods definitely conflict at times.
Here are a few of our favorite nuggets of wisdom.

“Don’t put him in diapers when he’s at home. He’ll be bow-legged when he grows up. When you go out, fine, use diapers, but not at home. Just let him pee on the floor and clean it up.” (Ewww)

Referring to his cradle cap: “Lots of people from the country get this because they never bathe their babies. (Ouch!) If you just wash his head every day and use lots of Vaseline it will go away.”

“He’s too hot, take the blankets off him!”
<--------(These two happen interchangeably)
“He’s too cold, wrap him up!”

“If you hold him over your shoulder like that he’ll have a hunchback when he grows up.”

Every time he hiccups: “Give him some water to drink, don’t give him milk!”

“If you pinch his cheeks like that he won’t want to eat food.”

“You shouldn’t dress him in onesies like this, it’s too tight on his neck. He should wear loose fitting clothes.” (I swear Lao babies only wear blankets for the first year of their life.)