My Grossest Moment Ever

Warning! This blog entry is not for the faint of heart or for those who have recently eaten.

Mir at the MTV cafe, you can see the sign for the restroom behind her.

When we first came to Asia we had a four week stop-over in Hanoi, Vietnam. The purpose was to complete a TEFL certificate so that we could be certified EFL teachers in our respective countries. These were probably some of the worst four weeks of my life, and Mir would probably concur. We were jet lagged, living out of our suitcases in a cramped hotel room, sitting in classes for seven hours a day, and in a country where we didn’t like the food and didn’t speak the language. Because our classes were in our hotel, we rarely saw the outdoors except on the weekends. The one ray of sunshine was the MTV cafe. This was the restaurant next door that had free Wi-Fi, an English menu, decent food, and a very convenient location. In other words, we were there almost every night.

But in one moment, my perception of the MTV Cafe was changed forever. Having just arrived in Asia, my stomach was still on ropes and frequent trips to the bathroom were the norm. On one such occasion, I entered the bathroom, sat down... and then the toilet exploded onto me. I’m not joking, there was other peoples’ “business” splattered all over the walls, the floor, and of course me. When something like this happens, it takes a while for the gravity of the situation to sink in. My thoughts went more or less as follows:

“Did this really just happen?”

“Oh my gosh, I’m covered in $***!”

“How the heck am I going to get back to my room?”

(This series repeated several times.)

After collecting myself, I wiped off as much of the mess as I could, walked/ran through the restaurant, and booked it up to our hotel room. The next step was a long shower with all my clothes on, and then the disposal of said clothes in the trash can.

Sometimes I still can’t believe it...

Doug pre-grossest moment ever doing schoolwork.